Trusting in God and Letting Go of Expectations

Hi Everyone!

So at the beginning of December 2010 I went to my practitioner certification course in Matrix Energetics®. I had to retake Levels 1 and 2 that weekend and then had the Practitioner Certification course during the week. It was a miraculous 6 days for me.

Matrix Energetics® is a consciousness technology, the art of transformation, and playing with the quantum fields to create change. If we want something changed, Matrix Energetics® is a great way to do that. It’s a lot like being a little kid. It’s a matter of asking questions, noticing what we notice, and playing with whatever we notice in whatever way our intuition or awareness is guided. And then letting it go and trusting.

Everything that I do in regards to the healing facilitation is about letting go and letting God. Only the skills and tools are different. Whether it’s Matrix Energetics®, biodynamic craniosacral therapy, or spiritual and self-healing coaching, I facilitate them all by being open to God’s guidance and love, listening, trusting, letting awareness expand, and letting it go into His hands.

But in trying to work through some remaining issues of mine, I went to class with a tall list of goals, that is, things to work through and let go of. I also went with faith, trust, and openness.

The first couple of days I was well aware that I was holding onto “my stuff” while enjoying the learning and fun that Dr. Bartlett’s classes hold. I was aware that I was wrapped up in my wanting to “get it” that I wasn’t holding the depth of presence I more commonly do. But I had faith and trusted in God and just went with the flow and allowed myself the experience as it was.

During the second day I was standing in back drinking some hot cocoa during the lecture. As is commonly done throughout the course, people are requested to come on stage. The instructors go by intuition to determine who gets called up and almost never request volunteers. (Once people see what happens on stage, getting called up is a pretty common desire.)

I was called up for the first time. I looked behind me to see if there was someone else behind me in red, but she said something like, “Yeah, you who’s looking behind you”.

Another neat thing about the matrix programs is that while there are certain points that they know to cover, they teach spontaneously. They have information and references for whatever may come up. But they basically teach according to how things come up, which is perfect and beautiful because it means that each class is catered and customized to the students attending at that time.

So when I went on stage Melissa looked at me and began to comment on how Matrix Energetics® is not just for physical conditions, but for the emotional or spiritual as well.

I’m happy that I was able to be the example of that. Even though others may or may not have gotten that that’s where I was coming from (emotional/mental), that’s what came to her to share at that time and she was spot on in my case.

She then very gently and barely touched me and I went into Frequency 18. (The frequencies are something that we are taught in Level 1 and one of the many tools available to us.) F18 is known as the Kundalini energy and people have gone into spontaneous yoga postures while in F18 even if they’ve never done yoga before. I, for some blessed reason, easily go into 18 and the spontaneous yoga postures. Although I do yoga, I haven’t been doing it regularly for months and I can never get as deeply or as easily or as comfortably into postures as I can when I’m in F18. People were oohing and ahhing and I would love to have seen what I looked like. But I am happy with having had the incredible experience, because it felt sooo incredibly good. While in F18 it’s kind of like being in a meditative state. I’m aware of all that’s going on around me, but I’m so internalized that I couldn’t tell you what lecture Melissa continued with while I was twisting around on stage. I know that I did some pretty deep back bends and I did the splits while in a headstand. That was a first and it was the easiest, the most comfortable, and the longest held headstand I’ve ever done. I realized, “So this is what a headstand is really supposed to feel like.” There was no struggle with the headstand. Only a natural ease.

When I got off stage my legs were like jello and it felt like something had broken off/ let go, even though I don’t know what.

As most of you probably know, whenever something is right for us or holds truth for us, we grow into it. So with each segment and exercise, things happened. Each person’s experience is unique to them and the changes can be profound.

During one of the evening forums, an elderly lady was called on stage. As she went on stage, I remember sensing her as compressed, as though the weight of the world was on her in some way. She also felt timid to me, and not as mobile as she could be. There was also another sense of something that I still have a hard time articulating other than I found it somewhat put offing.  I remember thinking that this was probably not someone I’d likely be friends with. I thought that a strange thought and not like me and focused on being open.

Dr. Garcia did what he does and we found out that she had had a blood transfusion decades ago. Apparently, blood transfusions or organ donations can have a major effect on someone if the two consciousnesses don’t come into harmony. Why they don’t come into harmony was not a matter here. But apparently it’s common that they don’t and that can lead to a person not feeling like themselves, or like they’re not in their body which was her case if I recall correctly. Dr Garcia played with the fields and did what he does, and she changed over the course of several minutes. We could all sense or see the changes. She seemed taller, more confident, more like herself. She was also keenly aware of the changes and how she felt. That sense that she had that something wasn’t her was gone. She smiled.

My last night there, I met this fine lady and we had dinner together. I am still amazed at how this is in a sense the same person that I saw on stage. But now in front of me was a vibrant, confident, intelligent, and well adjusted lady that I knew I could learn much from. She seemed 15 years younger to me and ready to move forward. It seemed nothing could stop her.

It became clear to me why God had allowed such a strange thought to come into my mind. It provided me with another clear experience of how profound matrix energetics has the potential to be. I love this stuff!

During the latter part of the course, we were playing with one of our exercises of the day. For the 3^rd and almost last time of the course, I went into F18, but not yoga postures this time. This time I found myself twisting or contorting into something strange. I very much felt the need to move in a certain twisted way, but felt like my body just wouldn’t move that way. I focused on letting go and waited and let myself twist as needed. Suddenly, something changed. I don’t know what but it felt within me somehow. I suddenly untwisted, but it felt like I was moving beyond that point that I was trying to twist. I extended and stood up and then stomped fiercely while turning in circles while my hands were clenched. It definitely felt like I was unwinding something. There were sounds of rage coming from me and I just kept “unwinding” until I felt I was done, about a minute later. I stopped turning and at this point my attention was drawn to my clenched hands. I had two thoughts going through my mind. One was “Just open my hands.” The other was, “I don’t want to open my hands.” I repeated these to myself several times. There was a very physical sense that I could not open my hands, but I also knew that I could. After the 3^rd time I made myself open my hands. As soon as I had done so, and immediately upon doing so, I had a vision of a hawk’s tethers being dropped to the floor. Something made me scream at that exact moment I saw the tethers drop. There was a fright or shock of some kind. I don’t know what. Something had happened. Something was different, but I didn’t know what at the time. But over the next several days I experienced it. I felt it.

I was different. I changed. The depth of faith, peace, calm, and trusting in God had reached new levels of awareness. Serendipity followed me everywhere. At times I went moment to moment noticing how God was being with me and working through and around me. And the depth of love that I feel for others also deepened. Also changed was the emotional charge to my political beliefs. While my resolve to strengthen and protect our great country remains in full, the emotional charge of anger at those who wish to turn it into a socialist or statist nation is gone. It’s simply so much easier to see more of God in everyone and everything compared to before.

And most of the changes that I experienced at class have remained. There has been a little regression, but only a little. I am still all the positive changes that I became over those 6 days of class. Just not as deeply as the awareness I held my last day there and the next 3 after that, but it’s close.

I can never again be who I was before I went to class. I can only continue to grow in His name.   Thank you, Lord!

Peace, Love, and Blessings,

Irene

Tags: incredible experience, letting go and letting God, matrix energetics experience