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Dating a resident?
First of all...congrats. New relationships are always tough because you are learning about each other and at the same time there are life's obligations. I do know that a doctor's residency is very challenging. Becoming a doctor is very hard and takes true dedication to the goal. I don't think he is blowing you off...I do think he is very busy. I think that you should enjoy your life and enjoy the times that you do get to see him. Once he is established..he might still be busy with his work...but he'll have time to involve you more. And you to involve him more.
Thanks. This makes me feel better about our relationship. I am not going into the medical field or becoming a doctor. I know that residency has got to be hard on a person though. I don't know how it feels but I do not that college can be a lot. Although I know residency is more than college. At least I have school that will keep me busy until he is finished. I know I will cherish the time that we have together. I am happy that he finds the time to talk to me. Thanks again.
You know, these doctors studied too much that's why they cannot just take for granted their residency training which is actually the application of everything they have learned for more than 10 years. They love to study, and they love to know if they have done well so that they can be in the future, real healers and health providers of the in need. As residents, their priority (no.1) is their training, so I guess you just have to understand their nature as residents. You have to be supportive to them because at the end of the day, you will be promised of a better future.
Thanks. Yes I am trying to be as supportive as I can of his residency program. I know it will be hard for us through these next couple of years. I am also a college student but not a doctor. So I couldn't imagine the hard work and effort that goes into being a residency doctor. I guess I will just have to be patient for the time being and try to keep myself busy. I have expressed to him that I would like to see him but I also expressed to him that I will wait and be patient. So hopefully he will have some time to see me every once in a while.
I kinda have the same experience sort off... but one thing I realized is that if you really care for the person then you will wait... if he clear things with you that you and him have really something and you just need both to adjust for the moment... well I guess you have to grab the time that you can improve your self more, people need to grow individually before they get into a relationship... And yes you are right... finish your studies first and just reach your dream same as what he is doing right now. It is hard to be in a relationship when you personally you don't build yourself first. You can't give yourself to someone when you know there are missing part of you... And you know girl if you are really young and you are not yet with your studies... you finish it first before entering in a deeper relationship with someone... our lives has its season... a time to study, to earn for your family, earn for yourself, earn for your own family and get married... Build yourself first... and if he is truly looking forward for your future realtionship, grab this chance to be the best girlfriend for him in the near future, but for now you have to do what you have to do as single and young... reach your dream and enjoy life. God bless. Prayer is the best thing that I can advice you to do... pray for covering and discernment of one's feelings... God will never bring you down. =)
Thank you. Just hearing you say all this has helped me feel better about myself and our relationship. I know it is going to be hard for both of us but we will get through it. I am going to focus on my studies and focus on myself. I would like to loose some weight also so I will focus on that also. Hopefully he will be able to find the time to spend with me and I will wait for him. Thanks again.
September 23, 2010 10:08am CST
So I am dating a doctor in residency. We got to spend quite a bit of time together in January and a little in February. Then the next time I saw him was in May. The last time I got to see him was in May. He was going to pick me up the other day but ended up having to work. I'm trying to be patient and understanding. I know that he is having to work a lot. I looked it up on the internet how much time he is working and the amount of hours that he is in the hospital is ridiculous. We talk on a daily basis. I really care about him and I miss him lots. We are serious. He even asked me about marriage (not a proposal). We both want babies and children. I have known him for a long time. I met him when I was 15 years old. Although we have had a few rough patches (nothing too serious and nothing was our fault). We have had a lot of good times and I love him. I know that he loves me and will one day marry me. He has asked me what type of rings I would like and his best friend asked if it would be ok if he went with my boyfriend to look at rings. I don't think we will be marrying each other too soon because he is so busy. I also plan on going back to school full time. In a about a year I will be able to get my associates. I plan on also getting a bachelors. I have also thought about a masters degree but I am not sure if I am going that far yet. Although it would be nice to get a masters degree. I am on break right now but I am going back in January. I know that I have more time on my hands right now and that I will be more busy when I go back to school. I will have less time to myself and less time to do anything other than reading and school related work. I am really trying to be patient but it is starting to get hard. I am upset that I haven't been able to see him lately. For a while I didn't mind and it was fine with me. I am thankful that he is finding the time to talk to me. In the back of my mind I have thought "can he really be that busy or is something else going on"? I know there is not but I couldn't help thinking this. I don't like it because I already feel like this. I know that residency usually last for four years and he has quite a while to go. He is only in his first year. I think he is almost done with his first year. I am trying not to be selfish and trying to be really understanding for him. I have asked him when I will get to see him. He has answered as soon as he can. I also understand that when he does get a day off that he has to be exhausted. I am not going into the medical field so I don't know how it feels but I know that my college courses keep me busy enough. I couldn't imagine going through residency. I am willing to wait for him and be patient through the next couple of years. All I want is to know that I will at least be able to see him every couple of months if possible. I hope that I get to see him more than once a year. I feel like it has been forever since I have seen him last. I saw him last in May which was almost four months ago. I know that he loves his job and that he is going to have to be in residency for a total of at least four years. I know it will be hard to get through for him and for us as a relationship. I have looked it up online and it looks like a lot of doctors in residency has problems dating. I love everything about him and it is starting to get harder for me as time goes on. Just to see his face would be so nice. I'm starting to really miss him and if I could only spend an hour with him. He still talks to me a lot and on a daily basis. Have any of you dated a doctor in residency? How did you get through it? Do you think he is blowing me off or do you think he is truly that busy? What are some things I could do? I have thought one good thing to do is that I could get my degrees and focus on my school until he is finished with residency. Another thing is to relax but stay busy. Having nothing to do only makes me miss him more. I can deal with not seeing him for a couple of months but after a couple of months it starts to get really hard. I think that I should try to relax and enjoy my time off of school until January. Then go back to school full time to keep me busy and try to keep my mind on school as much as possible. I will be happy when I get to see him more and when he is finished with residency. I think it will be hard for both of us in a relationship until he is finished. It just takes so long for him to finish. Do you think that a residency doctor could really be on their way to pick up his girlfriend and be called into work? I guess this could really happen. I believe it could if the resident was on call. What are your thoughts and suggestions?