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When you are dating online or in Asia in general you are bound to come across some unsavory people and a lot of good people. How do you separate them from the pack? More importantly, how do you know if someone is trying to scam you or not?
This article is going to answer all of that for you and more. First, let’s start with some basic rules you need to follow to avoid being scammed while dating in Asia:
- Never send money to anyone online
- Don’t buy your date objects such as phones, shoes, etc.
- Almost always, any sudden change of circumstance such as: parents getting sick, needing money for the hospital, needing money to bribe people, money for transportation, etc. Are all just ways of milking you out of cash
- Take things slowly in the beginning.
This is the order I recommend you follow while dating someone. Generally Asian people are going to want you to do the exact opposite but it’s not in your best interest to do so.
Date the girl, don’t make her your girlfriend to begin with.
After several weeks or months of dating consider going into an exclusive relationship (don’t allow yourself to be pushed into it, take your time)
Make friends with expats and have them meet your girlfriend. Keep friends and family updated about your relationship because they have a non-biased view that can alert you if there’s anything strange about your relationship.
Anything your uncertain about just ask if you would do it with a local girl in the country you’re from. If not, don’t do it.
Don’t meet her family right away, delay it and take the time to get to know the girl. Once you meet most Asian girl’s families, the pressure on you generally increases and they push you towards marriage. It’s not a scam, it’s just Asian culture. They do it to local guys too.
Above all, DONT give the girl money. If you follow that rule you will avoid 90% of petty scams. However there are some more sophisticated scams you need to be made aware of…
The Extortion Scam
In this scam the girl sleeps with you one drunken night, then the next day she claims you raped her (even though the sex was consensual) and demands a large bribe in order for you to be released. Another variation is having real or fake police officers arrest you and extorting bribe money out of you.
The solution? Don’t sleep with a girl right away, take your time to get to know her. There are other scams to such as the relationship scam where the woman plays multiple guys at the same time. Basically how this works is some women have a local boyfriend and her boyfriend essentially pimps her out online by having her date foreign men and get money from them.
How do you solve this problem? Usually the easiest way is doing a background check or hiring a private investigator to check on the girl your thinking of marrying. Typically local private investigators are very savvy people who know everything under the sun that goes on in their country.
Finally, if you are going to live abroad in Asia, I recommend you make friends with police officers. Most of them are going to protect you and tell you if a girl is good or not.
They will often warn you well in advance about things to worry about. Plus having police officers for your friends typically scares away a lot of people who are looking to scam you. Don’t always rely on it though, police officers pull cons too.
However, I cannot tell you the number of times expats have been saved from scams by having friends in the military or the police in the country they are in. Quite simply, scammers are looking for an easy target. The more difficult of a target you become, the less likely anyone is to try to scam you. The higher up your friends are, the less people want to screw you.
Furthermore make friends with expats who have a vast wealth of knowledge about scams in whatever country you are in. Some expats have been in the country for 20 or 30 years and have literately seen it all. They can tell you how to deal with almost any situation your likely to come across.
If you are not in the same country as the girl you are talking to, there is also an easy solution. Go on expat forums for whatever country she is in and ask them your questions. Usually they can give you very good, intelligent answers.
What should you do if you think you are being scammed? Contact your Embassy, they are your first line of help and defence, then follow their advice.
How to Avoid a Scam When Looking for an Asian Girlfriend
While there can certainly be those who are looking to do nothing more than get your money, it is important to remember that there are also plenty of legitimate companies offering to help you locate Asian mail order brides. Some warning flags you may want to look out for include the following:
- She asks you for money before you have even meet.
- She professes love for you after only a few messages.
- Your only contact is through a third party service that requires a fee for translation services.
- She wants you to pay for English classes, especially if the cost seems inappropriate for the area.
- Her letters to you never seem to directly answer your questions.
These are just a few of the warning signs that may indicate that you are involved in a potential scam. It is important to not let your emotions get away from you, approach this relationship with your eyes wide open and be on guard for anything that does not seem right.
There are certainly many Asian women looking for foreign husbands, you just need to be careful that you do not get involved in something that is not legitimate.